my journey

Over the past two and a half years, there has been a lot of disappointment and an immense amount of pain. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that life will never be what you think it should be after tragedy. Tragedy has a way of bringing out each other’s...

Running is my passion. It truly is my saving grace; the ultimate creator of my inner peace. I thank God every day for allowing me the ability to move my body.  Before I started running, I was drowning. I became so lost in my own grief, I barely recognized myself....

When it comes to Spencer, I am fiercely protective over him. When you love someone with all of your being, your only desire is to see them happy. If you know Spencer well, you know he always sees the good in others. It’s one of the many qualities that make him so...

WELCOME Welcome, friends! I am so happy you’re here! “Chasing Abba” started as a creative outlet to help myselfnavigate this very messy and multi-layered journey of grief. This blog quickly became my passion project. Mygoal is for you to find normalcy, comfort, and...

GRIEF. It’s heavy. It’s hard. It’s A LOT. When you love someone walking through the thick of tragedy, it can be tricky. What should I say? How do I say it? Should I say anything at all? Through my experience, a little goes a long way. I feel so lucky to have anyone...

February 21, 2022, was my 36th birthday. My first birthday in 7 years without Britt. Almost 9 months since her passing. I always knew I wanted to visit the accident site. For my own healing, visiting that dreaded magnolia was, unfortunately, necessary. With a few...

Tattoos are common once one experiences loss. They are an artistic expression that hold significant meaning. My personal opinion, or so I thought, not for me. Fast forward to Summer 2021, and our family started talking about tattoos to honor Brittany. Being the Pisces...

The beauty about grief is that it’s universal. Grief allows you to connect with people who you wouldn’t otherwise connect with. Your loss creates deep and meaningful bonds with those of different races, cultures, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. Who knew tragedy could...

Time is a gift. Time is sacred. Time is something we will never get back. Now more than ever, I appreciate every single day God gives me. Factor in sudden loss/unexpected tragedy, and time becomes magnified. We are constantly reminded that tomorrow isn’t promised....

No one can prepare you for life after loss. Unfortunately, there is no manual. I had this very naive and unrealistic perception of what our life would look like after we lost Britt. I had no clue there were so many layers. To be honest, most took me by surprise....

April 23, 2022, Spencer turned forty two! We celebrated all weekend long with friends and family. From Zac Brown to oysters on Sunday, it was the perfect weekend. Plus, celebrating Spencer is simply the best.❤️ Spencer is the kindest, gentlest, most loving soul and we...

May 29, 2021, our world stopped. I’ll never forget one single detail about that Saturday morning. I was headed out with Groves and Spencer was taking Surett to get a haircut. Then, the unimaginable happens. Sandy calls and the only thing I could make out was “get to...

Spencer and I have lived a lifetime in our 8 short years together. We’ve weathered some pretty mighty storms. Looking back, everything makes sense. God’s plan is so real and His will always works in our favor. Spencer and I married within the year we met and we...

One of the hardest things throughout my grief journey is having to hold back. I’ve had to hold my tongue and go over my thoughts ten fold before expressing them. If you know me well, this is literally the bane of my existence. Because I didn’t lose a daughter, a...

I’m not sure where I was or what I was listening to, but the most profound discovery in my grief journey happened. I heard the truest words that were ever spoken: “Grief is equally as Holy as Joy.” What an incredible lesson. Moreover, what a powerful mindset to have....

For me, therapy is the epitome of self care. I have been an advocate of therapy for many years, but my appreciation has deepened over the last 12 months. My amazing therapist, Amanda, has been my saving grace. She has deepened my sense of compassion, understanding,...

When people think about the accident, they immediately think of britt and her precious family. It’s only natural, right? Over the past year, I have found it interesting that people don’t think about Sandy, Jerry, or Spencer more often. After all, they had Britt for 38...

The first year is brutal. There’s really no way to sugar coat it. For those who have lost before you, I guarantee this will be the first piece of advice they give you. The entire first year, I was persistently in survival mode. The anticipation before every holiday,...