Dreams

Dreams have been a pivotal part of my healing process. Because I will never physically see Brittany again, I long for the chance to see her in my dreams. I will never forget the first dream I had of her. It was right after the accident. Brittany was playfully running down a hallway laughing. Then, all I could see was her smiling face. I knew this was her way of telling me she was OK. The second dream I was able to talk to Brittany. I can’t recall what she was saying, but her beauty was effortless and she was smiling as she spoke. I remember grabbing her hand and telling her, “I miss you so much.” In true Britt fashion, she rolled her eyes at me. I am the overly emotional one out of the two of us. The last dream brought me to my knees and left me breathless. I must admit, it took me a couple of days to recover. Brittany had one day to come back to us. So, she took Harrison to the zoo; a place she would frequent with the kids. She was standing behind Harrison as she always would while he watched the monkeys. Her arms were around him so tightly and they were both beaming. I remember crying beside them because I knew this day would eventually end. Harrison was (and always will be) Brittany’s pride and joy. She poured every ounce of love and life she had into him. It was truly remarkable to see her as a mother. At the end of the dream, I asked her if she was proud of us. Her radiant smile stared back at me and she replied “yes.” I woke up crying. The overwhelming sense of comfort quickly transfers into a wave of grief I am forced to ride. Although embracing grief is almost unbearable, I know it is necessary for my heart to heal. Until the next dream, I will be anxiously waiting❤️