Layers

No one can prepare you for life after loss. Unfortunately, there is no manual. I had this very naive and unrealistic perception of what our life would look like after we lost Britt. I had no clue there were so many layers. To be honest, most took me by surprise. Others left me angry and disappointed. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that we all grieve differently. For example: You have private grievers, open grievers, and you have selfish grievers. Open grievers, like myself, want to be honest and raw with our emotions post loss. For me, I wanted to share my heart, but also normalize grief. Silent grievers are the complete opposite of myself. They internalize their emotions and prefer to keep their emotions private. Although privacy during a very public loss is necessary to an extent, it can also cause problems. When you continue to stuff your grief, it comes out in negative ways. Whether it be drinking too much alcohol, lashing out at loved ones, or losing interest in everyday tasks. Trust me, this one can almost be more harmful than the last one I am about to explain (key word: almost). And then you have selfish grievers. Selfish grievers tend to act as if they are the only ones who have experienced loss. Not only do they lack empathy for those around them, they often like the attention that the tragedy brings. I can say for certain that tragedy brings out the best or the worst in people. Through my journey, I have undoubtedly seen both. It’s choosing how to react and how you are going to move forward that’s important.